Pin a tail on Alan

Alan's is a sad tail – short, tattered, uneven.

Some would call it stubby. I don't think anyone is chewing on it. It's just naturally flawed.

George's tail is long and lush by burro standards,

and I love how his dorsal stripe extends all the way to the end.

Lucy's tail is fairly typical for a donkey, covered with short, coarse body hair except for a tuft at the end.

Donkey tails are worlds apart from horse tails. Hank's tail sweeps the ground and is thick and luxurious.

Maybe he'd be willing to sacrifice a few strands so I could make some extensions for Alan,

sort of a locks-for-love program for equines.

Pig tails are in a class by themselves.

Sometimes Johnny's tail is in a different zip code than the rest of his body.

I've never seen such a long tail on a cat.

Smooch's tail wags so much, she can sweep the porch one section at a time.

So while Alan's tail may be nothing to write home about, he more than makes up for it with his

adorable ear tufts and eyebrows. And don't get me started on those flaring nostrils.