The Dark Side of Ranchsitting, a.k.a. As the Stomach Turns

In addition to animal feeding, hay moving, and general ranch chores, the 7MSN Ranchsitter job description includes 

"accompanying Carson to doctor appointments and paying attention and looking at gross stuff so she doesn't have to."

Ranchsitter #4 hauled me to a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Friday and, of course, 

exceeded all expectations in her assigned duties. She let me use her iPad in the waiting room

so I could read all your comments/hugs on the blog.

The medical group staff could tell they were dealing with a couple of bad-ass cowgirls by the caked-on mud on our boots. 

We tried not to leave a trail. Anyway, the appointment went very well; the infected wound is healing nicely,

and we should be able to stop packing it in another three weeks.

I haven't told you this before because it's so gross, but when I was readmitted to the hospital

with the mysterious infection, the doctors sliced open about 2" of the original healed-over incision to let the infection out. Basically I have this gaping hole in my gut that now needs to heal from the inside out. The hole needs to be repacked daily with a very long piece of gauze (think 1 inch wide by 3 feet long). Just before I left the hospital, the nurses showed me the proper packing technique and I was able to do it myself. However, I am so grossed out by the process that I've shown Ranchsitters #3 and #4 how to do it so I can just close my eyes and pretend it's not happening. 

After the appointment, we rewarded ourselves with burritos at a dive in Albuquerque's South Valley.

I'm certain Walter White and Jesse Pinkman once sat at this very table. Danni had something spicy and scrumptious; 

I stuck with the mashed potato burrito. All of which is to say I'm working my way up to real food 

and all systems are working just fine.

The rest of this post is not for the squeamish, as I will attempt to demonstrate what goes on during 

the daily wound repacking sessions. (Ranchsitters #5 and #6, this is what you've got to look forward to.)

First we close Smooch out of the room, which she does not appreciate one bit

but we don't want her to hop on the bed and assist during "the procedure."

Then the ranchsitter prepares all the necessary equipment.

I take my place on the bed and peel off the sticky tape and 4x4 gauze covering the wound.

Then I close my eyes very, very tightly because this next part is beyond gross.

The ranchsitter removes the packing tape from the hole, inch by inch by inch.

It doesn't hurt a stinkin' bit, but Danni mentioned it looks like a giant tapeworm, and ever since then 

I just pretend I'm somewhere else. 

What comes out must go back in, so then another 3 feet of packing tape gets stuffed back in the hole,

layer by layer with a sterile cotton swab. But first a teaspoon of honey goes in the hole. Go figure! 

It's supposed to make the wound close up faster. Then the hole gets covered with a couple of 4x4 gauze pads 

and lots of sticky tape. 

Then I return from my out-of-body experience, safe in the knowledge that I've got another 24 hours

before having to go through this again. Mercifully, Ranchsitters #3 and #4 have been creepily fascinated by the whole process and seem to enjoy it. Now that I've described it in such detail, I can only hope Ranchsitters #5 and #6 don't cancel their plane reservations.