The fly mask hall of shame

Midway through fly season and this is what I've got to show for it – six dead fly masks. 

And that doesn't count those that remain missing in action in the pasture.

Some of the dead ones are torn beyond repair but I save them anyway, foolishly telling myself 

that the spare parts will come in handy when I sit down to sew them all back together. Like that's ever gonna happen.

Fly masks come in one of two varieties: 

the kind where the velcro is easy to rip open so the mask goes missing and becomes a trampled toy, 

or the kind where the foldover closure works so well that the mesh fabric gives way before the velcro does.

There isn't a fly mask on the market today that can pass the Alan test.

If he can't remove it or rip it off George's face, he'll find a way to rearrange it.