Some exciting evening

It was Monday night around 6:30. I was in my office, trying to write a lively post about a slow-moving turtle. Smooch was in the backyard. The five-alarm snake bark sounded. I ran outside.

Me: Where is he this time, Smooch?

Smooch: Hose roller.

I picked up Smooch, tossed her in the house, grabbed my camera (it's been a slow snake season and I thought you'd appreciate it), and went back outside to investigate.

Me: You've tied yourself in quite a knot there. The snake pole won't do me much good this time. Hmm... 

I closed the lid on the hose roller and evaluated my options. 

Plan A: Leave snake alone and hope he eventually unwinds and gets the hell out of Smooch's yard.

Plan B: Relocate snake using alternative transportation.

I opted for Plan B while Smooch watched my every move from the guest room door.

Out the backyard gate we went...

 (If someone wants to nominate me as the queen of multi-tasking, I will humbly accept the honor.)

The snake, the hand truck, the hose roller, the camera, and I made it to the end of the driveway without incident.

Me: You're out of here, buddy. Find another water source.

Snake: I meant no harm. That damned dog of yours needs to mind her own business and stay out of mine.

Me: I don't want to hear it. You have over-stepped your bounds. Be gone!

So there I was, lecturing the snake and taking pictures, when I found myself stomping my feet, 

unconciously rubbing one ankle against the other, when I realized...

...my multi-tasking had come to bite me in the leg. I was standing on an anthill.

I jumped atop the hose roller to take this picture. See that spot where I'm pointing? 

That would be an army of ants doing whatever it is ants do when they're not biting my ankles and crawling up my legs. 

And the worst part? This was just the beginning of the evening's excitement. I will continue the story tomorrow.